The Screwtape Letters - chapters 25-27:
I chose chapter 26 because I have experienced certain situation(s) that are similar to Screwtape's scenario. But first of all, I will address Screwtape's definitions of the following: Keep in mind that the devil (Screwtape) views the opposite way that God (the Enemy) views it as. Courtship is a time to plant seeds of friendship, love, trust, security, bonding, intimacy (emotion and spiritual), not domestic hatred. Charity is not to be acts of sympathetic love but acts of compassionate love where you are seeing the unsatisfied desires as a period of weakness and out of that compassionate love, you help that person to become strong until the desires are met. Then the unsatisfied desire will not turn into hatred. That person will grow strong or part in peace because you have helped the person. When handled correctly, the problem(s) will not be postponed or waived but will be solved or at least addressed and the person remain accountable for theirself to take care of it. For each person is responsible for their own actions unless the other person does not comply, then he or she is fully accountable. Do you agree or disagree when Screwtape states that he substitutes the "negative unselfishness" for the Enemy's "positive Charity?" I believe that the negative unselfishness is a "false unselfishness" where there are serious undertones of selfishness or self-righteousness and, therefore, is not really unselfishness because the real meaning of "unselfishness" is to totally deny "self" from all motives of the love of self. So, the grand problem is not "Unselfishness" it is negative unselfishness or the undertones of selfishness like Screwtape wants the person to be when he or she is set up by an initial act of unselfishly surrendering their benefits to make someone else happy and, in turn, is skewed by the divergence of the male's and the female's views of Unselfishness. I believe that the woman's view to take trouble for others is just as detrimental as the man's view to not give trouble to others. Christianity means not only to be a peacemaker by disarming the trouble for others and enabling them to solve it themselves as well as not giving trouble for others. So, by the man and the woman taking opposite views, thinking that they are righteous in it, are really both right and wrong. Both are right, in that, they are standing on an aspect of truth. And, both are wrong, in that, neither is standing on the whole truth, in the middle and balanced in it. Each sex needs to recognize the other as not selfish because they are standing on what is right and call a truce! Or, the one who out of true sacrificial unselfishness--pure compassionate love from God--concedes even when that person knows that he or she is standing on truth. This person is the righteous one and deserves exaltation to the highest. A compassionate love from God is not "enchanted or clouded" but rather sound and merciful in motive. This was my situation and I chose the latter.
I believe that a person who mistakes charity with sexual excitement should be assessed mentally and emotionally. Their sense of love is confused with the desire (passion) of the sexual excitement. At this point the person needs to step back and reassess themselves because love from the flesh is temporal which is where Screwtape wants them. However, love from God through the Spirit is eternal and non-confusing; the emotions remain under control and the love is from your spirit and not your flesh. The devil (Screwtape) wants people in between these two, in a state of nothingness, so that each side will do something wrong to the other because of the confusion. The love of God prevents the feelings of self-righteousness and grudges as well as the Generous Conflict Illusion of Screwtape's. Personally, I have been handling two sides as in the Generous Conflict Illusion to where both sides are wrong for using me in their quarrel. Out of their undertone of selfishness and false motives, both sides became bitterly resentful and dishonest and consequently, made me the "punching bag" through it all. Finally, they continue to try to blame me for things that I am not guilty of because they feel blameless and ill-used when their true motives were self-righteousness, obstinancy, and accumulated grudges. But their souls are in jeopardy because they all had some degree of mutual falseness. I believe that if they truly loved the way they are suppose to that they would not be using something that is not in me to justify the blame, especially when it is not the truth. This is not of God and is sick to go to such extremes just to satisfy the devil. What are your views regarding this?